Next Free ONLINE Community Gathering Wed. September 17, 7PM ET

If you missed the first two free virtual conversations with Rev. Barbara, please see the videos and articles provided on this page.

I am thrilled to offer my time to speak with you about  healing  from childhood trauma. As a ministerial counselor with 25 plus years experience working with families, couples, and individuals,  I am pleased to share and teach the basic concepts covered in the self-help workbook "What Your Inner Child Knows: Nine Steps to Rescue Your Abused Inner Child." 

Don't miss this powerful free virtual community discussions that cover the topics listed below: 

WHAT ARE THE NINE STEPS?

Step One: Acceptance and  Support

Step Two: Understanding Feelings: Shame, Sadness, Anger and Fear

Step Three: Meeting Your Inner Child

Step Four: Honoring Your Inner Child

Step Five: Utilizing Your Strengths

Step Six: Discovering the In-Between Place

Step Seven: Confronting the Critical Mind

Step Eight: Creating an Action Plan

Step Nine: Living From the In-Between Place

Should You Confront Your Abuser?

What Next?

As a survivor, along with my ten sisters, I know first hand the difficulties surrounding letting go of childhood pain. I'm honored to share all 11 sisters' stories of healing, as written in my memoir "Broken Water" and to further offer free zoom discussions surrounding all things healing.

Please read the following short summary or view the short review video below.

Our first discussion covered the first step in ""What Your Inner Child Knows:" Acceptance.  I was thrilled to be in the presence of such brave souls.  Following is a review of what was discussed.

The Power of Acceptance in Healing Childhood Trauma Childhood trauma can leave lasting imprints—emotional wounds that often show up in our adult lives as anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, or self-destructive patterns. For many, the road to healing is long, filled with confusion, pain, and hope. One of the most powerful—yet often misunderstood—tools on this journey is acceptance.  What is Acceptance? Acceptance is not approval. It’s not saying what happened to you was okay. It’s not resignation or giving up. Rather, acceptance is the willingness to acknowledge the truth of your past without resistance, denial, or judgment. It means facing what happened with clarity and honesty, allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions associated with your experiences. Acceptance is about making peace with your story—not because it was just or deserved, but because it happened, and it shaped you.  Why We Resist Acceptance Many trauma survivors instinctively resist acceptance. Why? Fear of vulnerability: Acknowledging the truth can feel overwhelming, as if it will break us. Shame: Many internalize the trauma, wrongly believing they were somehow responsible. Anger and betrayal: Accepting what happened may feel like excusing the abuser or betraying one’s younger self. Hope for a different past: The mind clings to "what could have been" as a way to avoid the pain of "what was." These reactions are normal. But resisting the truth can keep us locked in cycles of pain, confusion, and inner conflict.  How Acceptance Heals  1. Ends the Cycle of Self-Blame Survivors often blame themselves, especially if the trauma involved manipulation or neglect. Acceptance helps us shift the blame where it belongs and offers the chance to release guilt that was never ours to carry. 2. Creates Space for Grief Acceptance gives us permission to grieve—not just the events themselves, but the innocence lost, the love not received, and the needs that went unmet. Grief is painful, but it's also necessary. Without grieving, we stay emotionally frozen. With it, we begin to thaw. 3. Builds Compassion for the Inner Child When we accept what happened, we can begin to nurture the wounded child within us. Instead of judging or rejecting them, we offer understanding, love, and care—often for the first time.  4. Empowers the Present The past cannot be changed, but our relationship with it can. Acceptance gives us the power to live in the present, no longer dictated by the traumas of yesterday. It helps us reclaim agency over our lives.  What Acceptance Looks Like in Practice Healing through acceptance is a process, not a single moment. Here are some practical ways to cultivate it: Name the truth: Journal or speak about what happened without sugarcoating. Just name it. Feel the feelings: Let yourself feel anger, sadness, fear—whatever arises. Emotions are messengers. Challenge the narratives: Replace “It was my fault” with “I was a child, and I deserved safety.” Seek support: A trauma-informed therapist can be invaluable in guiding you toward acceptance.  The Paradox of Acceptance Our hurts cannot be healed until we accept the reality that they occurred.  Until we accept the truth of our childhoods, we will be constantly defending ourselves against it. This results in depression, anxiety, and cloudy judgement, often leading to poor decisions.  In this transformation lies the possibility of peace—not because everything is healed, but because you are no longer at war with yourself.  Healing childhood trauma is deeply personal and often painful. But through the power of acceptance, you can begin to reclaim your story, your strength, and your sense of wholeness. And that is a deeply courageous, profoundly human journey.

Please read the following short summary or view the short review video below.

Our second discussion covered the second step in ""What Your Inner Child Knows:"  Understanding Our Emotions.  During that conversation, we focused on a highly misunderstood experience:  Shame. I was once again honored to be in the presence of such brave souls. The following is a very short review of what was discussed.

Most people don't understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy (toxic) shame. They tend to lump the two experiences together as one. This conclusion is incorrect.  Healthy shame is innate; a survival instinct we are born with. While some may have a difficulty recognizing it, as in ASD, other's may have been taught to distance themselves from it.  Healthy shame is essential to the survival of humankind. It is a link to the divinity within that helps us determine right from wrong, and when triggered and respected, will lead us to making moral and ethical decisions.  Unhealthy (toxic) shame, on the other hand, is born external to us. It is fed to us by those who haven't recognized and healed their own toxic shame, and repeat patterns handed down to them by placing their toxic shame on children.  Knowing the difference between these two experiences is essential to the healing of the toxic shame that often covers our connection to healthy shame--our true self, our divinity.  Follow me as I teach more about issues surrounding healing from childhood pain and trauma.

IN addition to the nine steps provided in "What Your Inner Child Knows: upcoming conversations will be centered around important issues the healing journey entails.  Join us for insightful online conversations where you'll discover practical exercises and heartwarming anecdotes that inspire and encourage. Let's walk together towards a future filled with compassion and strength, turning trauma into triumph.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FINDING SUPPORT:

Whether you find support here or elsewhere, cultivating a supportive community is invaluable for those on a journey of transformative healing. Begin looking for support by identifying individuals and groups that foster a sense of understanding and empathy. This may include joining support groups, attending therapy sessions, or participating in online forums, such as this, where shared experiences are discussed respectfully. 

Communities can provide a safe space to express feelings and receive encouragement from those who genuinely understand your journey. It's essential to choose support wisely, ensuring the promotion of positivity and resilience rather than focusing solely on past traumas. 

Remember, the goal is to find a community that uplifts and inspires you to continue nurturing your inner child and practicing self-acceptance. Over time, you'll find that networking not only supports your healing process but also empowers you to become an advocate for mental health and healing within your own circles. By contributing to and drawing strength from a positive community, you're actively participating in your own recovery.

SPIRITUALITY AND HEALING THE INNER CHILD:

Spirituality and healing the inner child go hand in hand, as nurturing our spiritual selves can provide profound insights and comfort in the process of reconnecting with our younger selves. In this exploration, we will uncover methods to integrate spiritual practices into inner child healing, such as prayer, meditation, visualization, and affirmations, which can help foster a deeper sense of self-acceptance and emotional wholeness.

Healing from childhood trauma can often feel like an uphill battle, but reconnecting with your inner child can be the first step toward transformative healing. This journey toward self-acceptance and nurturing your inner child is not just about revisiting the past; it's about embracing the resilience and hope within you. As you embark on this path, remember that you're not alone—support and community resources are available to guide you through each step. 

Self-acceptance is a crucial element in the journey of inner child healing. It involves acknowledging your past experiences, including the painful ones, without judgment. Embracing who you are, with all your complexities and scars, allows you to nurture your inner child with compassion. This process can be challenging, as it requires you to confront truths about your past that are difficult to accept. Yet, as Fern Bernstein eloquently noted, "Only God can turn a mess into a message, a test into a testimony, a trial into triumph, a victim into a victor." This transformation begins with acceptance. By doing so, you gain the strength to heal and the courage to reach out for support. As you embrace self-acceptance, you open yourself to a community of individuals who share your journey, and who can provide empathy and encouragement as you navigate toward a future of transformative healing.

Nurturing your inner child involves creating a safe space for that part of yourself to express emotions and needs. It requires you to be gentle and patient with your inner self, much like you would with a young child. This nurturing process can include activities that bring joy, creativity, and playfulness back into your life. Engaging in hobbies that you loved as a child or trying new, fun activities can be therapeutic. It's also important to practice self-compassion and affirmations that reinforce your worth and strength. As you nurture your inner child, you're essentially allowing yourself to heal from past wounds and embrace a future filled with hope. Encouragement from a supportive community or mental health support can be invaluable, helping you to stay motivated and resilient on this journey. Remember, nurturing your inner child is about building a relationship of trust and love with yourself, paving the way for transformative healing.

EXERCISES AND JOURNALING:

Engaging in exercises for emotional reconnection is essential to transformative healing. Start with mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing to help ground yourself in the present moment. This can create a space where you feel safe acknowledging and experiencing your emotions.

VISUALIZATION AND ART:

Visualization exercises can also be powerful; imagine yourself comforting your inner child, creating a vivid and nurturing scene in your mind. Art therapy, like drawing or painting, provides a non-verbal outlet to explore emotions creatively. These exercises can help you process past trauma and foster a deeper connection with yourself. As you practice these activities, remember that emotional reconnection is a gradual process and patience is key. Support from a trusted community, therapist or clergy member  can further enhance this transformative journey.

SHARING:

Sharing personal experiences is a powerful step in embracing your journey to resilience. By opening up about your past, you not only acknowledge your own story but also empower others who may be on a similar path. Whether through writing, speaking in support groups, or engaging in creative arts, sharing fosters connection and understanding. It also humanizes the struggles of inner child healing, making them relatable and less isolating. As you share, you'll likely find a community of individuals who resonate with your experiences and offer their own stories in return. This exchange of narratives creates a supportive environment that nurtures resilience and hope. Remember, your story is an integral part of who you are, and sharing it is an act of courage that can inspire both you and others to continue on the path of self-acceptance and transformative healing.

Conversational zoom gatherings are offered for free and will be presented in a relaxed "conversational" manner. You will need to register in order to receive the Zoom link for attendance.

Reservations are limited so grab your space soon. I'm looking forward to meeting you.

Have hope!

Rev. Barbara